Current mood:

relentless

Rejection (written on 5/25/98)
It happens to everybody -- me, you, all of our friends -- we all get rejected.

• You meet a cute guy, you try to strike up a conversation, but he answers in monosyllables, and eventually just wanders away.


• You go out on a great first date, you enjoy yourself, exchange kisses, drive home on an adrenaline high, and then he never returns your calls.


• You've been dating for six weeks! You finally decide that this man is the one for you, the one you want to live with, the one you want to bring home to your parents! But he decides that things are moving too fast, and that he just wants to be friends.


• Or, the two of you have been living together for years, you think of yourself as "married," and one day you discover that he has fallen in love with another man.

Guess what -- all of these scenarios have happened to the best of us, no matter how cute, sexy, brilliant, sensitive, outgoing, wealthy, caring, fashionable, down-to-earth, funny, or careful we may be.

But ... keep this important fact in mind the next time you feel rejected: You have rejected others too. You have wandered away from guys trying to pick you up, you have broken things off after the first date, you have felt that things were going too fast, and perhaps you have even cheated on your partner.

After all, dating is not a game of solitaire. Either player can flip over the table at any time, for any reason. If you are not happy, you can leave. The same goes for your partner/adversary. Especially in the world of Gay Male Relationships, which have few (if any) legal protections.

You can't take this personally. You will be disappointed, upset, angry, depressed, and sad; but you can't give up. You are a valuable person, you are unique, you are gifted, you are alive, and you can thrive. If you are upset about a rejection, take some time off -- [ relax grieve sunbathe bitch party ] -- but you will get over it, you will adapt.

You will find somebody new. I promise.